Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
