Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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