I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
