haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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