Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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