she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
