I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
