The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
