is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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