Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
