i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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