but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
