Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
