Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
