Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
A+ Viking dick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
