I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
