They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
