porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
