Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
