He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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