i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
