Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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