she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Your penis caused this!
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