so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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