meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
