Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
