Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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