the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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