ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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