So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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