Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
