if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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