Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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