Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
