i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
