Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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