No, you can still breathe under the balls.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
