Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
