Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
