omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My vagina is very pro this idea
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
