Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
