I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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