On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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