She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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