wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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