shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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