Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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