either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You left your phone here
Wait...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
