There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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