I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
